The 27 great universal lies of IT

The 27 great universal lies of IT We asked our hardy band of cynical, battle-scarred CIOs to nominate their favourite fictions, furphies and fables about IT that just keep on keeping on.

Like any industry that can trace its roots back more than 50 years, IT has accumulated its share of myths -- those fictions, furphies and fables that just keep on keeping on.

Many of these deceits have been exposed with the passing of time. For example, Bill Gates won’t give you money to forward that e-mail; early adoption won’t put you ahead of the game; and the stroke of midnight 2000 was not computing’s Armageddon.

More recently, we have come to know that Second Life is not the Second Coming; bloggers have precious little to say; and most IT projects fail.

Yet some fallacies remain.

We asked our hardy band of cynical, battle-scarred CIOs to nominate their favourites. They’ve suggested that as we settle into 2010, these gems survive as the great universal lies of IT.

Angus McDonald, Technical Director, Elcom

1. We can fix the cost of a project
“Specifying a fixed cost, timeframe and set of requirements (the iron triangle) leads to pain. It’s a consistent lie told by salespeople -- and believed by customers -- that they can fix all three on any IT project that involves creativity or an aspect of customisation. They can’t.”

2. We know how long that will take
“No we don’t. Really. We can take a guess, and we might be good at guessing, but without actually doing it, we can’t tell how long it will take.”

3. IT people are smarter
“Unfortunately this is not true, and thinking it is true is one of the really silly mistakes young IT professionals sometimes make.”

4. IT people are boring
“Also not true. There is a fair representation of most types of people in IT. Now that doesn’t mean their work is interesting to hear about -- IT professionals can bore you to death as much as any accountant, actor or athlete.”

Allan Davies, CIO Dematic

There’s not much that Davies hasn’t seen or heard across 25 years as an IT professional. However, with some prompting, he was able to keep his list of big lies to four. . .

5. It’s just software

6. IT is a department full of propeller heads

7. CIOs don’t understand the business

8. We just play with really cool stuff

Brett McDowall, CTO of Object Consulting

McDowall needed a little more space but, to be fair, he was attempting to cover a little more ground…

9. I can do this at home; why is it so hard here?

10. I can get this for free on the Web

11. I didn’t touch anything so why doesn’t it work?

12. This vendor will solve all our problems

13. Let’s outsource everything so it will all work properly -- out of sight is better

14. Let’s in-source everything so it will all work properly -- and we can see it

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Hemant Kogekar, CIO columnist, former CIO of Suncorp Metway, Citibank and Franklins, now principal of his own IT consultancy

15. The business knows what it wants

16. Technical skills are key to success in IT

17. Project success is being on time, on quality and on budget
“As we all know, a project is successful only when the business gets the promised benefits.”

Jurgen Schaub, Senior Technology Officer, Infoxchange Australia

18. It has to be expensive
“That’s a lie. If you’re clever, and a bit cheeky, an IT project can be done inexpensively. For example, Infoxchange built a wireless Internet network in East Timor to facilitate communication, free flow of information and general quality-of-life improvements.

“We did that on a shoestring budget, piecing together bits of open source and free software, using commodity gear and doing what people said was impossible -- bringing Internet access to the jungle.”

Mark Cohen, CIO Dealsdirect.com.au

19. Everything is easy

20. It’s cheaper to offshore

21. Open source is free

22. Vendors’ whitepapers have all the info about a case study -- warts and all.

23. If it costs more it must be better

Nathan Aherne, CIO, Reddog Technology

23. Close enough is good enough
“So many small and medium organisations implement technology solutions which simply don’t work. They then get this idea that technology doesn’t work, or even worse; that all technology companies are cowboys.”

“We are not all bad. You just have to look hard for a good one instead of rushing in to buy the next ‘close enough is good enough’ gadget.”

Stuart Inskip, CIO of Cognitive Development

24. Hiring twice the number of developers will get the job done in half the time.
“Software development is a craft and I try to explain that, sometimes, this would be like hiring electricians to wire the building before you’ve built the walls.”

Anonymous CIO of a large fast-moving consumer goods company

25. At some point, we must have faith in the intelligence of the end user
“This is total bulls*!t. I’ve lost track of the amount of money I’ve spent on training over the years. Most of it was wasted. Users need either an emotional buy-in or a brutal financial incentive in order to embrace your bright, shiny new technology. Otherwise, to them it’s just a lump of lead.”

26. The features promised are the features that get delivered
“In the bad old days when ethics were optional for the big enterprise software companies, I once contemplated hiring a hitman to square the ledger with one firm. The CFO was with me, but we just didn’t know who to call or how much we should pay.”

27. Technology will solve the problem
“I will never tire of watching a CEO throw millions of dollars worth of technology at a problem in the hope that it will solve his woes and improve his company’s share price -- as long as it’s not my CEO.”

That many of these fibs still make such a list is testament to their endurance. Some are proving tougher to kill than a cockroach fuelled on spirulina and Red Bull.

Whatever your take on any of the above, the general belief that mere hardware and software can solve an organisation’s business or people problems is one that is sure to excite and entertain for many years to come.