Blog: 10 Things You Should Never Write in an E-Mail or Instant Message

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We've all done it: Dashed off an e-mail or instant message in which we shared with a co-worker confidential information about a layoff or bad quarter, trash-talked a boss or squawked about a harebrained management decision.

Knowing we were typing something that we should have kept to ourselves, some of us might qualify our e-mail or IM with one of the following 10 statements, to underscore the sensitivity of the message and to cover our butts:

1. "I could get into trouble for telling you this, but…"
2. "Delete this e-mail immediately."
3. "I really shouldn't put this in writing."
4. "Don't tell So-and-So." Or, "Don't send this to So-and-So."
5. "She/He/They will never find out."
6. "We're going to do this differently than normal."
7. "I don't think I am supposed to know this, but…"
8. "I don't want to discuss this in e-mail. Please give me a call."
9. "Don't ask. You don't want to know."
10. "Is this actually legal?"

However, such efforts to circumscribe the sloppy e-mails and IMs we send are misguided, says Elizabeth Charnock, CEO of Cataphora, a provider of e-discovery software. In fact, the phrases listed above draw more attention to us and our surreptitious e-mail activity than they do to conceal it or to protect us, she says, because those are the very phrases investigators, compliance officers, lawyers and HR staffs use to identify bad corporate behavior. (Charnock developed the list of 10 things you should never write in an e-mail or IM, above, based on e-mails and documents her company has analyzed for clients.)

"Everybody uses e-mail in ways that are sloppy because it's so easy and convenient," says Charnock. "But it can cause trouble. Writing 'Delete this e-mail immediately' is a marker for some content that by your own definition shouldn't be there."

What kind of trouble can these statements get you into? Big trouble: You could get fired if your employer finds out you've shared confidential information over e-mail or IM, says Charnock. Even if you've just used your e-mail to share what you think is a funny forward or to let off some steam about a manager or co-worker, you could get canned for that too, adds Charnock, especially if someone else has filed a sexual harassment or hostile work environment claim against you. Then, that "funny" e-mail you sent or the e-mail in which you let off some steam could be used as evidence against you.